What I'm Reading

Happy For No Reason - Commentary and Book Review

by Marci Shimoff with Carol Kline

Commentary:  Happy For No Reason

I remember many years ago when I first saw this book.  I fell in love with the title because I thought someone had written a book about how I feel.  I just had to read this book!   

Friends were always asking me how I could be so happy all the time.  Some wanted to hang out with me in hopes that the “happiness” would rub off, and others were angry that I had the audacity to be happy when they were not.

Back then, being happy seemed easy.  I chose to be happy every day, despite my circumstances, and God’s miracles were in abundance.  I was also a single parent with a single-minded focus to provide the best possible life I could for my son while living in one of the most expensive areas of the country – Silicon Valley.

After my son left home, I felt lost (empty nest syndrome is real).  I made some choices out of fear, and the results were financially devastating.

I had done so well in the corporate world.  I imagined that I would recover from those financial decisions within a decade at most.  I didn’t.   

In fact, life’s circumstances created an experience where I thought my choices were removed from me and I became, well, less happy.  My thoughts of dissatisfaction, fear, and lack of agency increased – and my happiness decreased.   

It is true there is a level of joy that I never lost, as a result of my faith, and there is a level of happiness that seemed to ebb and flow with life’s circumstances.   

Reflecting on my past, I realized that truly, my happiness ebbed and flowed with my commitment to happiness practices.  And so did my ability to attract clients into my business.

As Marci Sminoff laid out her 21 Happiness Habits, I realized that I teach these as part of all my coaching programs and while working with patients and caregivers in my Hospice ministry.   

I was reminded, as I listened to the audio version of this book, that happiness is not just a way of thinking, it is a lifelong practice.   

And like any skill, when our practice falters, so does our skill at being Happy for No Reason.

Book Review

Happy For No Reason: 7 Steps to Being Happy From the Inside Out

by Marci Shimoff with Carol Kline

Marci Shimoff lays out 21 steps for being happy - which may seem daunting at first - but, she breaks them down into 7 key areas.

Being happy for no reason is defined as having a sense of inner peace and well being.

Shimoff suggests that you can achieve this state by practicing the the 21 Happiness Habits.  There are 3 in each of the 7 key areas, or as she calls them, "Pillars."

The 7 key areas are:

1. The Foundation - this is about deciding to take responsibility for your own happiness.  The steps include some of our basic Positive Intelligence skills such as looking for the gift and opportunity and showing yourself compassion.

2. The  Mind - this is about managing your thoughts.  It describes some of the core principles of Positive Intelligence including the Sage tool of curiosity, releasing the negative thoughts and choosing positive thoughts.

3. The Heart - here Shimoff focuses on gratitude, forgiveness, and lovingkindness as it pertains first to yourself, and then to others.  You may remember the empathy exercise we do during PQ with the childhood picture.  That's what this section refers to.

4. The Body - eating right, exercising, and listening to your body are the keys to this pillar.  We know this, but I know of no-one who can't get better in this area.  That's why we "practice."

5. The Soul - connecting to your higher power and listening to your inner voice help you find the path of ease and flow so you can work from that place.  This is akin to the Elder Wiser Self, guided meditation we do in the intensive Positive Intelligence course.

6. The Roof - living an inspired life means living with purpose, being inspired by the moment, and contributing and serving as you have been called.  This means you know your purpose, or you are seeking it and living by what you think is your purpose now.

7. The Garden - This is about feeling deeply connected to your family, your friends, and the world and feeling nourished by those connections.

One of the gems in this book is a full set of exercises to help you either practice or understand the 7 pillars better.

Overall, I still love this book.  I feel it is a great foundation for being Happy for No Reason and reminds us that this is a daily practice.

Purchase Happy For No Reason on Amazon.