Conscious Thinking

We often look at our political leaders and ask if they have integrity.  We look at our Supreme Court judges and expect them to rule with integrity.  Whether you agree with recent decisions of the Supreme Court or not,  integrity is not a matter of the final decision we make, it is a matter of how we make that final decision.

Integrity is at the very basis of self-esteem. It comes from the word integer, and carries the same sense of wholeness: a person of integrity is a whole person. To have integrity implies a person has given thoughtful consideration to what is right and wrong, then lives by those principals. When an individual’s behavior contradicts their deeply held beliefs, it eats away at self-esteem.

Daniel, age 43, found a UPS package on his porch when he returned from work. Though the package wasn’t addressed to him, he opened it and found it contained a cool four-in-one tool he’d been wanting. The package had been shipped pre-paid, which meant the person who ordered it had already paid for it. Instead of returning the package to UPS, Daniel added the tool to his collection in the garage and used it for a while. But it seemed every job for which he used that particular tool either took an extraordinary amount of time or didn’t work out right. Daniel finally gave the tool away to a friend.

Those who act in ways that contradict what they believe is the “right thing,” may be able to justify their actions for a while, but this self-betrayal ultimately catches up with them. In their own eyes, they begin to see themselves as hypocritical and dishonest. This self-judgment is far more powerful than any outside criticism or rebuke.

Sarah, age 37, was invited to a formal dinner by an important client. She went shopping for a new evening gown and put it on her credit card. She looked gorgeous that night and she and her client had a terrific time. As soon as the store opened the next morning, there was Sarah, dress folded neatly back in the box. She told the sales clerk that the dress “just wasn’t right” and got the charge credited back to her account. Over the next few months, Sarah’s relationship with her client deteriorated until, ultimately, she lost the account.

Having integrity means knowing your principals and living by them, even when it isn’t the easiest thing to do. Especially when it isn’t the easiest thing to do. Keeping your word, telling the truth, speaking out, taking a stand, having the courage of your convictions: this is the stuff of integrity. It’s a primary ingredient of self-esteem, and at the foundation of good mental health.